Well, here I am, back on the block or blog, I should say. One of the first changes that I had to make in my journey to renewing myself, was to take a look at what was and what was not working in my life. I felt like the blindfolded lady of justice that holds the scales - I was full of things that were not working in my life, but that I had accepted as....I don't know, just accepted. Once I decided that I can change my life, so many things began to clear up for me. I went back to church (major step for me) and found one that I liked and that liked me right back. My former place of employment closed it's doors, opening up the opportunity for me to be the "mommy" I wanted to be - look out June Cleaver! No pearls and crinolines, though, more like sweats and bandanas, but I can enjoy my children for who they are. We laugh together, often. We watch great, good and absolutely awful, movies together on the weekends. I can tickle my little one and relish the peals of laughter, that before I would have to cut off no sooner that we started playing.
My oldest son, today, was so excited about a new drama group that he attended. He was talking, 90 miles an hour, words tumbling over themselves, in a rush to share his experience, his excitement, his wish to continue with the group. This from the same kid who six months ago, wouldn't open his mouth to the easiest of questions from me, who felt more comfortable talking to his teacher than to his mother. I wouldn't trade this time for anything, but he's 14 now...think how much I've missed by trying to uphold a standard that no-one was holding me to, but me.